It seems like every other day I get invited to a TEDx _ _ _ _ _ _ event, and I have to say I think it’s a really crap idea, not at all worth spreading. Perhaps not the concept but definitely the execution.

I’ve been lucky enough to attend TED Global in Oxford twice and I have to say, while great, the real appeal is that I’ve been - and many others haven’t. When it comes to events like TED, scarcity is the hallmark of quality.

If this wasn’t the case, people would be spending a lot more time talking about events like Creativity World Forum and Pop!Tech (both better conferences) and less time talking about TED. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t for one second think that this is a bad thing, I think it’s a masterstroke of marketing genius.

TEDx, not so much.

Putting a TEDx logo on an event doesn’t make it a TED conference anymore than putting a FERRARIx badge on a Fiat makes it an Italian super-car.

However, one thing that the TEDx events seem to have adopted from their parent is the arrogance.

I recently received this mail from one of the TEDx organisers inviting me to pitch-to-speak (I was also asked to speak at TEDx PTA two weeks ago):

You have been nominated by justin spratt (thanks Spratty) to speak at the [site-name] Event, happening on the 15th of November, 2009…

…If you are interested in telling the world about how implementing your idea is currently uplifting or can uplift communities, please Register here: http://www.tedxjohannesburg.co.za/user/register. Once your registration is complete, you will receive an e-mail confirmation with a one time link. This will confirm your e-mail address. Click this link: http://www.tedxjohannesburg.co.za/node/add/profile-speaker to fill out your speaker application.

We will then review your application and get back to you. In the mean time, please take a look at our website and browse through the FAQs ([site-url]/faq).

Now, if this was the actual TED I’d say hell yeah and beg for a place to talk. However it’s not, it’s just another in the endless string of TED knock-offs that we hear about weekly. 

Like most speakers I charge in the region of R20k to deliver a talk, and do this a fair amount. As far as I’m concerned, at this stage anyway, if I was to speak at TEDx it would be a favour, and not a privilege.

These guys are acting like their credibility has already been established, it hasn’t.

Less arrogance lads - you’re not TED, yet.

And TED, you shouldn’t be giving out these licenses like food stamps, you’re killing  your brand…!

So a few weeks ago, I decided to end my 10-years of exclusive Mac use and give PC a chance again. To clarify, I’m actually really liking the Windows 7 rc that I’m using. This is not an issue of OS preference, but of service (or lack thereof). What folllows below is a simple chain of events:

Thursday 17th Sept:
1.1 (11h00): Enter HP Sandton looking for a netbook, get sold on a TX2 by Marlin, but have to leave for a meeting. Tell them I’ll be back in at 13h00 to collect it. Smiles all round.

1.2 (13h00): Back I come with my IT guru, Marlin explains the specs of the TX2 again, saying that it’s “fully loaded” with a battery life of 6 hours, but realistically 4.5. I pay, and they agree to install Windows 7 RC. I’ve to leave and come back in 2-hours as they want to make back-up-disks.

1.3 (18h00): Still not ready, I speak to the guy that’s actually doing it, he’s on disk one of two and says it will take all night. They knew I was waiting, they had my number. No one called. A taste of things to come. They agree to deliver it to me at Woodmead the next day by 11 latest as I had to leave.

Friday 18th September:
2.1 (10:55) Time is tight, I call the store in Sandton, they tell me that they were just about to leave. I tell them not to bother and fetch it myself.

2.2 (13:00) After showing it off a bit, my battery goes promptly flat (more on this later). I reach for the box to get the charger - it’s not there.

2.3 (13:05) I call HP, they blame Marlin, the sales guy. I ask to speak to him, I get told he’s off that day. Nice. I also inquire about the fact that the propriety media suite doesn’t work. They assure me that it was tested and that it dod work, I get told they will deliver my cable and call me straight back re the media suite. The cable I get, the call I don’t.

Monday 21st September:
3.1 (10:00) My battery is running flat in 45 mins. I call Marlin, I tell him that he was blamed for the cable. He denies it. I tell him about the media suite, he says he’ll look into it, and I tell him about the battery. He says to bring it in and they’ll swap it. To his credit, 10-mins later I get called back to be told that the media suite doesn’t actually work in Windows 7. Fair enough, but I wish they’d told me that before.

3.2 (15h00) I pop-in and collect the new battery, I tell the guys that the machine is really sluggish, now I get told, “yeah, you probably need more ram, that machine runs quite slow out the box” (refer to “fully loaded” on 1.2 above). I agree to pay for the new RAM - no stock. Marlin promises me a quotation by the next morning. Nick then asks me to fully charge the battery, run a test then see how long I get.

3.3 (19h00) I test it, from 100 - 0 in 0.58hours. I’m getting pissed.

Tuesday 22nd September:
4.1: I call Nick and give him the results, he promises to get straight back to me.

—

Tuesday 6th October:
5.1 No one has called me re the battery
5.2 I still have not received the quotation for the RAM

If anyone has a friend who has a friend at HP - tell em to do the right thing and take this machine back - that way we can depart friends. Worst case scenario, I get a rad case-study for my talks - I’m doing 7 in the next two weeks.

If I’d wanted service like this I would have stuck with Apple and Core…!

Update: So I get a call from HP Sandton today.

He never called back.