It seems like every other day I get invited to a TEDx _ _ _ _ _ _ event, and I have to say I think it’s a really crap idea, not at all worth spreading. Perhaps not the concept but definitely the execution.

I’ve been lucky enough to attend TED Global in Oxford twice and I have to say, while great, the real appeal is that I’ve been - and many others haven’t. When it comes to events like TED, scarcity is the hallmark of quality.

If this wasn’t the case, people would be spending a lot more time talking about events like Creativity World Forum and Pop!Tech (both better conferences) and less time talking about TED. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t for one second think that this is a bad thing, I think it’s a masterstroke of marketing genius.

TEDx, not so much.

Putting a TEDx logo on an event doesn’t make it a TED conference anymore than putting a FERRARIx badge on a Fiat makes it an Italian super-car.

However, one thing that the TEDx events seem to have adopted from their parent is the arrogance.

I recently received this mail from one of the TEDx organisers inviting me to pitch-to-speak (I was also asked to speak at TEDx PTA two weeks ago):

You have been nominated by justin spratt (thanks Spratty) to speak at the [site-name] Event, happening on the 15th of November, 2009…

…If you are interested in telling the world about how implementing your idea is currently uplifting or can uplift communities, please Register here: http://www.tedxjohannesburg.co.za/user/register. Once your registration is complete, you will receive an e-mail confirmation with a one time link. This will confirm your e-mail address. Click this link: http://www.tedxjohannesburg.co.za/node/add/profile-speaker to fill out your speaker application.

We will then review your application and get back to you. In the mean time, please take a look at our website and browse through the FAQs ([site-url]/faq).

Now, if this was the actual TED I’d say hell yeah and beg for a place to talk. However it’s not, it’s just another in the endless string of TED knock-offs that we hear about weekly. 

Like most speakers I charge in the region of R20k to deliver a talk, and do this a fair amount. As far as I’m concerned, at this stage anyway, if I was to speak at TEDx it would be a favour, and not a privilege.

These guys are acting like their credibility has already been established, it hasn’t.

Less arrogance lads - you’re not TED, yet.

And TED, you shouldn’t be giving out these licenses like food stamps, you’re killing  your brand…!

So a few weeks ago, I decided to end my 10-years of exclusive Mac use and give PC a chance again. To clarify, I’m actually really liking the Windows 7 rc that I’m using. This is not an issue of OS preference, but of service (or lack thereof). What folllows below is a simple chain of events:

Thursday 17th Sept:
1.1 (11h00): Enter HP Sandton looking for a netbook, get sold on a TX2 by Marlin, but have to leave for a meeting. Tell them I’ll be back in at 13h00 to collect it. Smiles all round.

1.2 (13h00): Back I come with my IT guru, Marlin explains the specs of the TX2 again, saying that it’s “fully loaded” with a battery life of 6 hours, but realistically 4.5. I pay, and they agree to install Windows 7 RC. I’ve to leave and come back in 2-hours as they want to make back-up-disks.

1.3 (18h00): Still not ready, I speak to the guy that’s actually doing it, he’s on disk one of two and says it will take all night. They knew I was waiting, they had my number. No one called. A taste of things to come. They agree to deliver it to me at Woodmead the next day by 11 latest as I had to leave.

Friday 18th September:
2.1 (10:55) Time is tight, I call the store in Sandton, they tell me that they were just about to leave. I tell them not to bother and fetch it myself.

2.2 (13:00) After showing it off a bit, my battery goes promptly flat (more on this later). I reach for the box to get the charger - it’s not there.

2.3 (13:05) I call HP, they blame Marlin, the sales guy. I ask to speak to him, I get told he’s off that day. Nice. I also inquire about the fact that the propriety media suite doesn’t work. They assure me that it was tested and that it dod work, I get told they will deliver my cable and call me straight back re the media suite. The cable I get, the call I don’t.

Monday 21st September:
3.1 (10:00) My battery is running flat in 45 mins. I call Marlin, I tell him that he was blamed for the cable. He denies it. I tell him about the media suite, he says he’ll look into it, and I tell him about the battery. He says to bring it in and they’ll swap it. To his credit, 10-mins later I get called back to be told that the media suite doesn’t actually work in Windows 7. Fair enough, but I wish they’d told me that before.

3.2 (15h00) I pop-in and collect the new battery, I tell the guys that the machine is really sluggish, now I get told, “yeah, you probably need more ram, that machine runs quite slow out the box” (refer to “fully loaded” on 1.2 above). I agree to pay for the new RAM - no stock. Marlin promises me a quotation by the next morning. Nick then asks me to fully charge the battery, run a test then see how long I get.

3.3 (19h00) I test it, from 100 - 0 in 0.58hours. I’m getting pissed.

Tuesday 22nd September:
4.1: I call Nick and give him the results, he promises to get straight back to me.

—

Tuesday 6th October:
5.1 No one has called me re the battery
5.2 I still have not received the quotation for the RAM

If anyone has a friend who has a friend at HP - tell em to do the right thing and take this machine back - that way we can depart friends. Worst case scenario, I get a rad case-study for my talks - I’m doing 7 in the next two weeks.

If I’d wanted service like this I would have stuck with Apple and Core…!

Update: So I get a call from HP Sandton today.

He never called back.

Seems the dirty tricks thing is not the sole domain of British Airways. As a commuter based in Northriding, I take advantage of Kulula’s Lanseria - CT flight fairly often, and for the most part (other than the need of a yuppie class) I’m a happy guy. So when they launched their frequent flyer system, Jetsetters, I was there in a flash.

So off I went to login, and I when I saw that the customary “do you want to receive our marketing bumph” was pre-checked I was unimpressed, but not hugely surprised, most guys do this. So I immediately opted out, and carried on, slightly miffed.

First mail I got from them, immediately following my opt out, was this:

Aaarg. No dude, I’m not an idiot, I knew exactly what I was doing when I unchecked your box.

That’s not the worst of it though. Every time you login to the site and view your profile for anything, the sneaky bastards check the box again i.e. you need to opt out repeatedly.

Have they learnt nothing?

Gideon, I think you’re a marketing genius bro, so I’m assuming that you didn’t see this one, but please change it, it’s nasty.

When it comes to what I receive in my inbox, I should get the final vote. Otherwise you’re just a spammer, and there’s nothing fun or irreverent about that…!